Pat and I met yesterday to discuss the divorce.  It was actually very amicable.  The purpose of our lunch was to complete all the paperwork prior to sitting down with the judge next week.  That didn’t happen.  Instead, he said, “You just fill it all out and I’ll sign it.”  Including his financial statement. 

I guess I’m fine with that.  I’m honest and I know I’ll be fair (probably more than fair).  We’re both in agreement that we just want this whole thing to be as good an experience for Kelsea as it can be.  But, at the same time, it’s one more thing for ME to do, and one more thing HE won’t take responsibility for.  I have a feeling he’s in for a rude awakening when he starts having to pay his own bills every month.

I only cried once during lunch, which is not bad, considering how much I usually cry during these meetings.  Somehow, I still feel like I need to apologize for all of it.  As we were leaving, I said, “I tried to be a good wife to you.”  And he replied, “You had your moments.”  Then after I drove away, I found myself wishing he would say something like that to me.  He’s the reason I’m leaving, after all.  But he’s owned up to his own faults in this divorce once or twice when he was in his cups.  I guess that’s as good as I’m going to get. 

I am ready to stop apologizing.

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