February 2012

It has been just over a year since I last updated my “About” page. And it’s time. I am not where I thought I would be a year ago, but I am happy now, happy with the changes in my life and me. I bought my own house, a 112-year old haunted bungalow. I have a good full-time job as a proposal writer, working with people I really like, and taking on new challenges that are improving my overall writing skills. (And I’m still working myself to death with a second job as well.) I’ve been through a course of therapy that helped me see what I am worth – and what I deserve from others in my life – and what I am not willing to put up with.

After 10 months of being single, I am now in a new relationship (6 months into it) that feels healthier than any other I’ve been in. I’m still somewhat cautious, but trusting more every day, and enjoying not losing myself, but giving and sharing myself. I am happy with this kind, wonderful, fun, caring, spiritual , dedicated new man, and curious to see what comes next with us.

I still have part-custody of my wonderful daughter, now 15. She is going through more and more of the trials and tribulations of teenagehood, so I listen, I counsel cautiously, and I parent to the best of my abilities. She is fighting through with a good, level head on her shoulders. She is an amazing blessing.

Money is tight, my tropical travels have been severly curtailed. I have adopted my niece’s cat while she is in Nepal for another year. I am happy. It is a different kind of happiness than the wild, reckless sense of endless possibilities that I had a couple of years ago, but no less lovely.

My hair is getting thicker and longer, my eyes change color more often, and I will be half a century old this year. Some days I feel it. Most days I don’t.

And that’s about me. Until I change again.

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January 2011


Who am I now?  Up until two months ago, I was a woman starting over in a happy relationship.  We had big plans together, and had been through a lot to be together.  And then, suddenly, he ended it.  He wanted to be alone – or with someone else.  So now – again – I am starting over.  While I am more actively pursuing a writing career, I am also pursuing a full-time job.  Don’t most writers have full-time jobs?  My heart has never been this broken and it is making every day a struggle.  But one that I will get through somehow.  These days though, I just feel lost.

 

My teenage daughter is an awesome person and a huge comfort, but I refuse to take advantage of that.  As a good mom, I am trying to let her be on her own and separate from me.  Since she has a tendency to want to take care of people, I don’t want her to fall into that trap with me.  Still, she is the biggest blessing in my life.

 

These days,  I feel older than my years, not very pretty, sadder than happier.  I’ll update “About” next time that changes.

 

June 2010

 

Time for an update.  I’m a nice woman who is rediscovering herself and her power.  Transitioning now into a completely new life, I am in the midst of changes in love, work, spirituality, where I live and how I live.  I am a good mother, and my daughter is, right now, a happy teenager. Shedding my old skin feels good.  I’m almost 48, which really makes me look at the half-century mark, and wonder how much longer I have to play in this big earth.  I certainly don’t feel 48, especially when I look into hazel-brown eyes that reflect my own – I feel like an 18-year old, just starting out with my whole life before me.  I guess that means that you have your whole life before you at any age – you can always make a fresh start.  Fresh, clear, clean, warm and happy.

 

My hair is starting to get longer and thicker.  My smile is returning.  I’ve lost almost 20 pounds and can see glimpses of my former pretty shape – I can definitely lose the rest of it!  The weight loss is an excellent metaphor for the changes in my life – I am shedding a lot of things that weren’t serving me well in order to find my true self.  I continue to be pleased and amazed by the path I am on.

 

 

 

November 2009

 

It’s time for an About update.  I am 47 years old, newly divorced, and trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life.  The last year has aged me, but I feel the aging reversal process will start soon.  I have a wonderful daughter who is about to turn 13, and my ex-husband and I get along relatively well.  It’s amazing the triggers I realize I have, though, now that I am out of my marriage.  It’s a wonder I survived.  I am trying to establish my personal identity as a writer and photographer, and making that my work and pleasure for the rest of my life.  I love to travel, and I’m a beach person trapped in a mountain setting.  I am grappling with my need to move to a Caribbean island and how I am going to make that work for my daughter, because I don’t want to always be apart from her.  I’m in a fledgling relationship with a man who likes and respects me and feels like a partner and that’s really, really nice.  My hair is getting thicker, but not longer. I need to lose some weight and lower my cholesterol.  I have moments where I am happy these days and feel like I can see a warm, clear path to my dreams.

 

June 2009

 

Time to update who I am. Amazing how it can change so often – if your life is calm, maybe it doesn’t.  I am stronger than I was six months ago, still a loving human being, exploring more of my own depth, at least when I can wade through the bog of daily life.  I am stubborn.  I am trying to figure out where to go next.  I am a good mother. I have a powerful spiritual side when I can lasso it, and I want to try to make it more prevalent and accessible to myself.  I love the rhythm of the sea.  I need the energy of thunderstorms.  I am on a journey of self-discovery that, with any luck, will take the rest of my life.  My hair is still thin from stress and I am frustrated at the pace of change.  But most importantly, I love.

 

 

 

January 2009

I have no idea who I am right now.  I do not want who I am to be tied to someone else.  But I got so wrapped up in this great new love, that now that he has left me, I am at a loss.

I now feel about 60.  Stress is thinning my hair.  I have lost 8 pounds in the last week. I haven’t eaten in two days.  Let’s check back later and see who I am.

November 2008

Who am I is a question I am asking myself a lot these days, so I thought I’d answer the query here.

 

I am 46 years old, originally and always from North Carolina – once a southern girl, always a southern girl. I now live in Colorado – moved here 26 years ago, intending to stay for 2 years, but life’s what happens when you’re making other plans.  It’s beautiful here, but it’s where I live, not the home of my heart, which is anywhere by the sea (hence ‘seasweetie’, which combines my love of the ocean and my dad’s nickname for me, which was ‘little sweetie’.)

 

In the past 3 years, I’ve lost both parents, a best friend and a dearly loved dog.  I have a wonderful daughter who’s just turned 12.  I left my husband of 18 years (together 24) in November, which has been hard, but I know it’s what I need to do in order to be happy for the rest of my life. He has gradually adjusted to the concept. I’ve worked two or three jobs for the past 8 years to support us, but I’ve always been a bit of a workaholic.

I’ve fallen in love for the first and last time now and that is thrilling, complex, frightening and wonderful.  To find your soulmate is a rare thing in this life.

I was born asking where the next bus was, and have rediscovered my innate wanderlust in the past 4 years.  Fortunately, one job has given me some opportunity to travel for work, and having a second/third job has allowed me to take myself and/or some combination of my family traveling for fun.  Since I was 8 years old, I have dreamed of living in the Caribbean, and now my goal is to make that dream come true.  But I will happily go anywhere in the world, love traveling alone and can find fun wherever I go.

 

I feel like I’m 20, have long brown hair, green eyes and my cheeks look like little apples when I smile, which is often.