Tonight, around 1:45 in the morning, is the fifth anniversary of my Mother’s death. It has been a difficult week of remembering her last days.  In my mind, I can travel back to any minute of that week and be right there.  And that is hard.  It has been easier this year than in past years, but still hard.  There have been so many times this past year – these past five years – that I have wished with all my heart that I could talk to her. Really talk to her, not just to her spirit. I wish I could have asked for her advice, felt her love and support and comfort, heard her joy and her delight and pride in me. I can’t have that. I can never have that again.

It’s so hard.  Especially through these hard years.

I love you always, Mother. I know you’re having an amazing time wherever you are.  But I sure do miss you.

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