You are currently browsing the daily archive for January 5, 2011.
Just like last night felt odd, tonight feels odd. Not bad-odd, just odd-odd. Know what I mean?
I had a busy and interesting day today. Went and worked out. Got some positive indicators that I have a remote chance of getting the house I’d like to buy. Talked to a former boss who said she’d push along my resume at the company where she currently works, where I’m considering an interesting but demanding job. Took a few hours to write a fantastic cover letter for a meeting facilitator/consultant job that is perfect for me. Wrote a new poem. Washed dishes. Made plans with a couple of friends for different dates. Had a good talk with a bloggy friend. Am now watching “An Affair To Remember” (the Cary Grant-Deborah Kerr version). The wind is blowing hard outside.
(And let me say that just because I’m looking for gainful employment doesn’t mean I’m giving up on the writing. It’s just that if I buy the house, it would help to have some solid income for a bit.)
As the day wound down, I wanted to talk to my former guy. It was an interesting feeling. I miss him. Obviously. And he reads this, so I’m not telling him anything new. (Hi there.) But I was thinking about that being one of the things I miss the most about us. We used to talk in the morning – he was my alarm clock. We would talk at lunch about how the morning went. We would text periodically. We would talk on the way home from work about the rest of the day. And we would Skype before bed. It’s what you do when your relationship is long-ish-distance.
It’s those going home talks that I miss the most. That winding down of the day is the time I miss talking to him most. I miss sharing the little (and sometimes larger) doings of the day. I liked that. It had a cozy intimacy to it that was special somehow.
I’m being more social and reaching out to friends and family more and it feels nice. I’m at home alone (as of last night) and will be until Sunday, which is also fine. I’m fine being alone, much moreso than I was a month ago. In fact, I’m kind of happy tonight. (So, in response to AO1′s comment, don’t feel bad for me.)
But that little conversation. That’s the thing I miss. I hope I’ll have that sort of thing again someday.
Today’s guest poet – Christina Rossetti
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be too late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.